his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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