wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
