theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
