I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
