You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
