so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
