The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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