So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
