Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We have started to decorate penises.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
