So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
