giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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