Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
