so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
