forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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