Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
