mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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