did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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