Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
