Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
