I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Houston, we have a blender
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
