She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
