She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
