You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
