so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
