Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
