Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
