I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
