haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
