this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
