When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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