woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
