No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
