Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
