I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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