Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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