I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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