He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
