I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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