You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
