thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
