he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
