question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
