Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Be still, my beating vagina.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
