i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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