I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
