Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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