we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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