i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
