it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
