dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
